Vital Health Partners - News - A service for those with a life altering health diagnosis

News

Jane Guyton recently wrote an article for the Novemeber 2002 Issue of Executive Update entitled "A Manager's Guide to Handling Illness in the Workplace -- What to do when someone you work with is diagnosed with a serious illness."

Stories

Overcoming A Deep Fear of Surgery - Phil's Story

It’s not always easy to face one’s own fears. Several years ago, when I learned I needed to have two hips replaced, all I could have told you was that I was incapable of picking up the phone to schedule the first surgery. I knew that I was immobilized by more than the arthritis that had eroded the cartilage surrounding my hip joints.

I watched with a mixture of panic and depression as my world began to shrink. I could do less and less. I turned inwards, but could not find my inner resources of strength, merely the obsessive fears that inhabited my mind. I was not able to be the father, husband or professional that I wanted to be. Life was, essentially, at a standstill.

At some level, with hindsight, I think I knew that this was a turning point in my life. At any rate, somehow I was able to search out the help I needed. Because I have always been a very spiritual person, I turned to people who were able to talk to me at that level, one of whom was Jane Guyton who is one of the Vital Health Partners. In the conversations that followed, I began to realize that when it came to facing major surgery, the faith I professed let me down. In fact, I was in a crisis of faith, unable to trust the medical profession, myself, or my God.

I can see now how difficult it was for me to face the fact that I needed to go through a procedure over which I had little or no control. Fortunately, the people who supported me through this process helped me to distinguish between the aspects of my situation over which I had control, and those over which I had none. I began to see where my choices really lay.

I well remember the process I want through, that included mental rehearsal, learning to relax, asking for help in ways that I had never done before, and envisioning the outcomes I wanted. Of course, I had to make peace with the fact that I really couldn’t control the outcome, but that not taking the calculated risk of moving ahead with surgery was by far my worse option.

I had been dragging my feet, both literally and metaphorically, but after a relatively few weeks, I made that phone call. And it was a turning point; I am one of the fortunate ones. In my case, surgery was highly successful and the experience changed me. Through it I deepened my faith and found new purpose in life. A large part of my learning was that the breakthrough came when I asked for help, that I needed the support and guidance of others. And I am not alone.